Can we talk about piles?
You know that friend? The one who you can text about piles at 7 in the morning? Everybody needs that friend. I’m so lucky to have many of these friends who will willingly discuss my fanny and/or arsehole at a moments notice – without judgement and with exactly the right balance of humour, reassurance and concern.
And you know what? If you aren’t that lucky, then I will be that person, that friend, who holds their hand up and says ‘me too.’ I will stand in solidarity and reassure you that it’s normal. Even if it means never quite looking the school mums in the eye again… Hi everyone 👋
I’m 3 kids in, and the fanny admin (#fadmin – omg that’s so going viral) is real. I don’t even know where to start to be honest 🤣 Anyway here goes…
Piles? 🙋🏼♀️ Yep, after all 3 births.
Anal Fissures? 🙋🏼♀️ Once, after Rory’s Birth. F ME, THAT HURT.
Wonky healing down there post stitches? 🙋🏼♀️ Again after Rory, slightly dubious… alignment, shall we say.
Wet themselves in public (and no I don’t just mean the odd drip on a trampoline. I mean full on, toddler-style running down your legs)? 🙋🏼♀️ Yep – Thank Christ I was running alone and not with my neighbour. Walk of shame back home after 5 minutes 😂
Drips after every wee? 🙋🏼♀️ Always.
Trapped wind? 🙋🏼♀️ Yoga is always a bit hairy.
Pressure during pregnancy causing a partial vaginal wall collapse? 🙋🏼♀️ Literally, how it sounds 🤣
Things don’t look right, don’t feel right, things are too tight, too loose, too different. And all these things can be embarrassing, can be things we’re not keen to talk to our partners about. It’s a tough topic to bring up. I mean, no one asks a new Mum how her arsehole is doing (well my friends probably would actually tbf 🤷🏼♀️) whilst cooing over their newborn do they?!
But we must.
Especially now, when none of us want to bother GPS with our #fadmin, it’s so important to share these worries. Not necessarily online with thousands of people – you don’t have to do that to be fair 😂 – but maybe just with that one friend? That other new Mum you just met? A GP? Or hey, just ping me a DM… You can bet your arse (#thematic) I’ll have been there.
🌸 🌮 🍑 😺💩🌹